Christians are to be a light for Jesus by receiving Abba Father’s love and spreading it. Unfortunately, the devil tries to use a rejection mindset, usually caused by a father’s wound, to “steal, kill, and destroy” that light.
In the power of love, we receive love from God, give it to ourselves, and then we love God back as we reciprocally love one another through our Spirit-produced love. As we surrender to the Spirit, we stay connected to the Vine, producing the fruit of spirit love, etc., in us, which we spread to those around us. That is how we love like Christ and be a brightly shining light in darkness.
“The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in” (Morrie Schwartz).
Through the power of love, every human, as he chases his unique God-given purpose, has the potential to create transformation in other’s lives. The devil knows this, so he attempts to “steal, kill, and destroy” our light. Using a rejection mindset and a father’s wound, he attempts to destroy the power of love within us by distorting our identity and preventing us from experiencing Abba Father’s unconditional love.
We experience a battle with Satan in our hearts, in which he uses the following tactics:
- Deceive you to find agreement with lies in your thinking.
- Cultivate a sense of separation to love.
- Train you to think you are your own worst enemy.
- Get you to forget who you are in Christ.
- Deteriorate your relationships.
- Accuse and condemn you.
- Discourage you and wear you out.
A loving relationship with God begins as one learns to receive His love. When we receive His love, we love ourselves as His creation. Loving self requires agreeing with how God sees us in our identity in Christ. We then take that love from Him and give it to ourselves, then to others by surrendering to the Spirit. When we don’t receive the unconditional love of Abba Father, our identity suffers as we don’t love ourselves as we should, and when we don’t love ourselves right, we struggle to love others as we have no love to give to them. We then fail to be a light for Jesus, and our world remains in darkness.
“If you aren’t good at loving yourself, you will have a difficult time loving anyone, since you’ll resent the time and energy you give another person that you aren’t even giving to yourself” (Barbara De Angelis).
“The most important decision we make is whether we believe we live in a friendly or hostile universe.” (Albert Einstein)
A rejection mindset is a form of thinking where we anticipate and live our lives according to the belief we are, or will be, rejected by someone.
“Loving people live in a loving world. Hostile people live in a hostile world. Same world” (Wayne Dyer). Sin’s presence in this world can potentially create a perception of a hostile world full of hostile people, and the more people sin, and if you or a loved one gets seriously injured because of sin, the more plausible that belief sounds. Satan knows this and presumably tempts people to sin, so those injured by sin would believe they live in a hostile world full of hostile people.
If you believe that someone is a rejecting, hurtful, unloving person, then your natural reaction is to distance yourself from him. Because you fear being rejected or hurt by that person, your relationship with him suffers as your ability to receive and give love from and to that person becomes hindered.
Because we anticipate experiencing rejection, our relationships with God often suffer as we struggle to receive His love. When we fail to receive God’s love, it creates problems in loving ourselves and others. Thus, the power of love within us loses potency in transforming lives, as the rejection mindset hinders us from receiving and giving love in our relationships with God and people.
The devil likes to use their father’s wounds to create rejection mindsets in people. Because they believe that Abba Father behaves similarly to their earthly fathers, those with a father’s wound usually fear God will reject and or punish them just like how their imperfect earthly father did. Since the unloved child was raised in a “hostile family environment”, those with a father’s wound may today, as an adult, perceive the world as being “hostile, full of unloving people.” Those with both a father’s wound and a rejection mindset often have intimacy issues with Abba Father, including struggles of getting close to God and receiving and giving love to and from Him, as well as to themselves and others.
One must receive Abba Father’s perfect love and healing to overcome a rejection mindset caused by a father’s wound. Understanding the different types of fathers can give us a new perspective on how we perceive God:
“AUTHORITARIAN FATHERS ARE:
- Concerned with complete control or obedience.
- Not interested in your opinions, ideas, or desires.
- Intent on their own way.
- Characterized as being strict.
Authoritarian fathers can inadvertently influence their children to rebel against God.
Someone raised by a harsh father needs the kindness and gentleness of Father God to heal the heart.
ABUSIVE FATHERS:
- Inflict emotional, physical, or sexual pain.
- Destroy a child’s sense of worth and trust.
- Skew the daughter’s or son’s view of intimacy.
Abusive fathers can inadvertently influence their children to have difficulties trusting, being vulnerable and emotionally relating to God.
Healing from an abusive father takes kindness and patience – relearning what love and safety means for your heart.
DISTANT OR PASSIVE FATHERS:
- Show little to no affection.
- Rarely demonstrate emotion.
- Interact little with their children.
- Display no interest in the child or their activities.
Distant or passive fathers can inadvertently influence their children to view God as uninvolved and disinterested in their lives.
Healing from a passive father involves knowing that God is a Father who fights for you.
ABSENT FATHERS ARE:
- Unavailable due to work, divorce, death, remarriage or abandonment.
Absent fathers can inadvertently influence their children to believe that God is inaccessible or nonexistent.
Healing from an absentee father involves knowing a Father in heaven who will never leave you or forsake you“
When we Christians fail to receive the love of Abba Father, we become unable to abide properly. The power of love then doesn’t get perfected in our lives as we become unsuccessful at imitating the love of Christ. Satan experiences victory as we fail to achieve our God-given purposes, as we don’t believe in the truth of Abba Father’s love towards us.
“Everyone is born with key questions in their heart. When these questions are not answered in a healthy and solid manner, a rejection mindset forms within us. These two questions are: “Who am I?” and “Am I loved?” (Mark DeJesus).
“Am I loved?”
“Think about this. The God of the universe became a wiggling baby in order to get close to you”
(Timothy Keller).
Omniscient God knew everything about you before you were born and chose us to be His adopted children.
Before He created the world, God was cognizant of every human, knowing everything about them, including all their flaws and every committed sin. He also saw all of their brokenness and wounds caused by sin and pitied all of us. God desperately wanted to save and rehabilitate every sinner of his addictions to sin. Abba Father immensely wanted to be the perfect father to those with a father’s wound, healing them with His perfect Love.
While we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. Since God, Spirit, and Jesus are Trinity, they are One; it was as if God Himself died on the cross to pay our sins’ penalty. Christ’s sacrifice became the propitiation of all our sins, appeasing His perfectly holy and just nature, so believers could become adopted children of God. Even when we rejected His love, His reckless love still wanted us so severely that He died for us. He always wanted us to be His children, so He could be the perfect Father we desperately need. Cognizant of all our flaws and sins, He chose us before we knew Him.
“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life” (John 3:16).
Even the worst of sinners, the most flawed people, the ones who would hate God the most, Love still chose to die for. God is perfect love.
“You are loved for Christ’s sake, not because your heart and life are perfect” (Timothy Keller).
“Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at its destination full of hope” (Maya Angelou).
Forgiveness is costly as Christ bore our sufferings to pay our debt so we could avoid hell. In God’s eyes, we are valuable because Christ was the price of our adoption.
“God’s grace becomes wondrous, endlessly consoling, beautiful, and humbling only when we fully believe, grasp, and remind ourselves of all three of these background truths—that we deserve nothing but condemnation, that we are utterly incapable of saving ourselves, and that God has saved us, despite our sin, at infinite cost to himself” (Timothy Keller).
“Why is it important for you to know the real God? Because your identity is found in Him” (Karen Wheaton).
“Who am I?”
“The power of the gospel comes in two movements. It first says, “I am more sinful and flawed than I ever dared believe,” but then quickly follows with, “I am more accepted and loved than I ever dared hope”” (Timothy Keller).
Your identity: “I am a child of God, perfectly loved by a perfect Abba Father, unlike my earthly father. I am fearfully and wonderfully made. I am valuable because Christ died for me. I am chosen, perfectly designed by a perfect Creator, for a purpose to be a light for Christ. I am eternally loved, accepted, and completely forgiven, despite all my sins and imperfections, which God knew about before He chose Christ to die for me. Nothing in this world can separate me from God’s perfect love.”
Christ paid the penalty of sin. Those who believe in Him will become justified forever, declared righteous despite all their sins. Not only would they escape hell and experience heaven instead, but they would become adopted children of God, all because the mercy of God chose to forgive them of all their sins. Because they are justified and forgiven, Abba Father never has any reason not to totally accept all of His children, even though they still habitually sin. And because the Father is perfect Love, He will always choose to love all His children eternally.
Once you know a perfect Abba Father loves you, your heart can be free to love yourself. You received love from God, and with that love, you strive to love yourself as Christ loved you. And you then love your neighbor as yourself with the Spirit’s help and God with all your heart.
“You must know, rest in, think through, and act upon your new identity – you are in Christ” (Sinclair B. Ferguson).
Daily, make a declaration of your identity and of how God sees you. Doing this will strengthen your identity, so you can rise above the hurts of your imperfect relationship with your earthly father, rejecting the enemy’s lies that you are unworthy, unloved, and insignificant. If we know who we are in Christ, what others think of us matters less. We can then walk confidently as children of God as we spread our love to this dying world.
Please listen to this uplifting song:
Sources:
http://overcomingfatherwounds.com/2015/07/how-fathers-affect-our-view-of-god
The Heart Healing Journey: Awaken, Heal, and Transform Your Life, Mark DeJesus
Experiencing God’s Love As Your Father, Mark DeJesus
God Loves Me And I Love Myself!, Mark DeJesus