My Mental Illness Recovery Story: Chapter 10


 “Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God.” (Corrie ten Boom)

The summer is over and I back in school for my last semester. My bipolar meds were good, and the school workload was relatively lighter than previous semesters. Desperately hoping to find a high-paying job for the wrong reasons, my chances, other than from God, was in the hands of Professor Duane Dobbert, the teacher who led me to my manic depression diagnosis.

Like a Goodwill Hunting story, Dobbert created a one-on-one psychology class to help me with my personal, bipolar, and vocational issues. He became a mentor which listened, guided, taught, and encouraged me. Like Matt Damon in the movie, I was a formerly-abused child with enormous potential but many roadblocks.

The career path Dobbert had in mind for me was to help disabled people meet their needs. The concept of bettering and making a difference in the lives of those with similar problems like me intrigued me. Who other than another disabled person would understand the pains and sufferings of a disabled individual? So Dobbert took me to a place where those with physical illnesses needed personal care. The organization, after I met their disabled clients, sent a letter to Dobbert, telling them “how impressed they were in my interactions to those with disabilities. “

I was about to accept the job offer when I found out it would be minimum wage. My pride suddenly shunned the idea of working there. “How would people think I am successful and great if I made those wages?”. “Aren’t college students supposed to be have high-paying jobs? “. “if I am a college student, and I don’t make a lot of income, it would definitely prove I am incompetent and no good. Then I wouldn’t be loved and accepted!”

Instead of asking what God wanted, instead of surrendering my will to Christ, and instead of listening to the advice of my dad’s mom and others, who thought I should find any job available, I continued to look for premium jobs. It seemed like no one would want to hire  me with my previous terrible job history.

Eventually I became so desperate for a job that I went back to Durability Plus for work. But once I was about to work there, I realized that was a bad idea. Eventually, my stepdad made me fill out an application at Hutchinson FTS to be a machine operator, which my pride resisted. Trying not to get hired during the interview, I still ended up with the job.

Listen to this inspirational song, related to the theme of this chapter:

Casting Crowns – Already There (Official Lyric Video)


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *